A Look Through Thiseye

Te busque de bajo de las piedras y no te-encontre
En la manana fria y en la noche te-busque
Hasta enloquecer

I’m confused … about a lot of things. I guess it could be described as a very mild state of depression that I’m in. I’m just thinking about the future, and I just don’t know … what it’ll be, where it’ll be and who with. For the most part, I’m usually happy about where I am in my life right now; I guess I’m just ready for more, and thinking ahead, I’m worried about the pace in which change is coming. Somewhere, there is a piece or two missing. I think I know what they are. Now if only I could fill them.

In other news, D and I did two 14ers, Grays (14,270 ft) and Torreys (14,267 ft), last weekend. They are the 12th and 14th tallest peaks, respectively in the continental U.S. Among other reasons, we wanted to get out of the 100 degree heat in Denver! It was nice and comfortable in the mountains, and at 14,000 feet, it was actually kinda cold at times.

Grays Peak (left) and Torreys Peak (right)
Along with Mt. Sherman that I did last year, these were the 2nd and 3rd 14ers for me and D’s 1st and 2nd. Of course, I did Mt. Sherman in May, so it was more like snowshoeing than hiking. That was pretty miserable. These were a lot more straightforward. In fact, we opted to do Torreys first even though it’s easier doing Grays first. I think it took us about two hours to summit Torreys. We hung out and took pictures for about 15 minutes before we headed to Grays. It took about 40 minutes to get to Grays, and we spent about 45 minutes up there before we headed down. We were concerned about some clouds that were gathering.

View from Torreys Peak
It cleared up during our descent, so we took our time stopping for a lot of pictures along the way. Towards the base of the mountains, there were a lot of very pretty wildflowers that we took pictures of. I’ve never seen so many wildflowers in Colorado! All total, I think it took about 5.5 hours from when we left the car.

Rocky Mountain Columbine, Colorado’s state flower
I’m currently listening to “All Good Things” by Nelly Furtado. I think I’ve listened to it 10+ times today. Man, what a good song. Apparently, it was originally supposed to be a duet with Chris Martin from Coldplay, but his label didn’t like that, so she performs it solo on the album. I found the duet version online, and it’s pretty good too. The whole album is pretty good, actually.

Okay, I’ll finish the Half Marathon story some other time. I just wanted to post some random stuff right now. Firstly, it seems I only post about a few select subjects. There’s a reason for that. I’m a generally reserved person except around those closest to me. Thus, I don’t talk about really personal matters in such a public forum. My life isn’t just about music and doing physical activities. That said, that pretty much is what the rest of this post will be about. I still need to touch on camping and the Bolder Boulder 10k from Memorial Day weekend and the Ultimate tournament today. Man, I really wish I could post to this thing more often. Okay, those will come later, time permitting.

So in those days before the half-marathon in which I was sick, pretty much just stuck at home, I finished reading The Da Vinci Code. It was a good read, but I didn’t think it was as great as everyone made it out to be. I don’t know. I guess expectation has a big effect on me. I don’t think it could’ve possibly lived up to all the hype (especially since I’ve heard it for 3 years now). Same thing happens with movies. I’ll enjoy a movie a lot more when I go in with low expectations. Conversely, if I’ve heard a lot of good stuff about a movie, then most of the time, I’ll be disappointed in the movie (even though I still may enjoy it). In any case, everyone’s told me that Angels and Demons is the better book, so we’ll see. I bought it the other day, although I haven’t really started reading it yet. I also have Fast Food Nation to read though. And then several people have told me I need to read Confessions of an Economic Hit Man so I’ll have to check that out soon. So much stuff to do, so little time!

Now to touch on music a little, I just wanted to list out some of the songs I’ve been hooked to these last couple of months. I pretty much go through periods (ranging from a week to months) where I have a song that I’m hooked to. So in order from the most recent:

• Fort Minor – “Remember the Name”
• Fort Minor – “Where’d You Go?”
• Nine Inch Nails – “Right Where It Belongs”
• Pearl Jam – “Black”
• Coldplay – “Talk”

Of course, there are lots of other songs I’ve liked during this time, but these are the ones that pretty much reached the “I have to listen to this on my way to work” status. I’m sure there are others I’m missing.

On a related note, I really want to get a digital piano. I’ve been looking to get a cheap used one for like $500, but no luck so far. Yea, they’re not cheap, but hopefully I can manage to get a used one for around that price. I have this keyboard that I’ve had since I was in like Junior High was good enough for a while, but even back then it got be limiting as I taught myself some piano (just not enough keys on it to play Adagio from “Moonlight Sonata“). In any case, I’ve always wanted a digital piano (or a real one). I haven’t really used my keyboard at all in the past year and a half, so it seemed silly to think that that would change if I got a piano. Okay, now flash back a little bit: I’ve wanted to learn how to play the piano part from Van Halen’s “Right Now” for quite some time (a great part and a great song). There was this kid in high school that could play it, and I picked up a little bit of it, but just enough to tease me. A few years ago, I tried to find the piano part online and in stores to buy but couldn’t. So the other day, I just randomly think to look again for the first time in forever. I do a couple of searches online, and bam! There it is! And for free, no less! So I print it out, and I start practicing. After a few days, I get pretty decent with it, but again my keyboard is just insufficient. It doesn’t have enough keys, and it’s not touch-sensitive, so you can’t play the bass and treble lines at different volumes (another big problem with “Moonlight Sonata”). So again, I start to think if I should get a digital piano (a real piano just wouldn’t be practical getting upstairs, etc). Then at a friend’s barbecue one day, I find out that his wife has a Clavinova digital piano (which is really what I would want, if I wanted to spend that much money). So I take a stab at “Right Now” on it, and it just sounds sooo much better! Of course, I had an audience too, so that was cool, but I soo want one of those. So I’ve been looking on craigslist a lot lately, and hopefully I can grab a used one. That would be most excellent.

Welcome to another installment of my life. I guess firstly, I’ll elaborate on my last post so as not to leave it dangling. So yea, Mike Shinoda is a genius. I recently found out that his side-project Fort Minor had released their album … in November. Somehow that totally slipped by me (which very much surprised me … the only thing I can think is that I was in India at the time). Regardless, I’ve been listening to this album since I heard about it, and it’s simply amazing. I mean this isn’t some ground-breakingly awesome album, but it just made me realize how much a part of Linkin Park Mike is. I knew that he was the heart and soul of the band, but I have a new respect for his creativity and talent. One thing in particular that impressed me was this line from Wikipedia (which appears to be corroborated from other sources):

As well as producing the CD, Mike played every instrument on all the tracks that made it into the final cut (minus the strings).

Okay, enough on that. As far as being sore and tired that day, that was a busy weekend. We went out for Cinco de Mayo, I ran the steps at Red Rocks, went on the Coors Brewery Tour, play urban capture the flag in downtown Denver and then played Ultimate on Sunday. I was beat. Aside from the first and last item, that was all Saturday, and I was starving all day. CTF was pretty crazy. It was just some thing this guy decided to do as an “art project” (no idea). So there were probably like 200-400 people there playing CTF in this huge area in downtown Denver. I’m surprised no one got hurt because I know when I was chasing some people in our territory, they ran into the streets and almost got hit by cars. Anyway, I had to stop later on, because I just couldn’t sprint around anymore without some food.

So alright, the real reason I’m posting … For those of you keeping track at home (anyone? I didn’t think so), this weekend was the Colfax Marathon in which I was running the half marathon with my friends John Martin and Marc (D bailed even though it was his idea in the first place). My friend John Jost ran the full marathon. Yea, he’s a machine. So it kinda crept up on me, and I was getting a little nervous about my training. I would’ve liked to have done another 10-11 mile run, but it was too late. I needed to start resting. So the 10 miler that I chronicled back in March was the longest I had done, and that was 7 weeks ago! I got some new running shoes last week that I’m actually going to dedicate to running, and some people got me worried about that since I hadn’t broken them in for a few weeks. I had read that you didn’t really break in running shoes, so I figured I’d be fine, but still that was another thought on my mind. But, the worst part is on Tuesday, I had a sore throat.

“Noo! This can’t be happening,” I thought. I started loading up on vitamin C to make sure it wouldn’t get to a full-blown cold. I wanted to do a short run Tuesday, but decided against it because of my throat and also because my right leg was kinda sore (from what, I’m not sure). Wednesday was okay, but I still had a nagging sore throat. Most of the people from work took off early Wednesday to go to the Rockies game (my first MLB game). As I always said, baseball sucks … but it was an excuse to hang out (and it was fun!). I was fine until that evening, and I started feeling worse. I think I had a fever that night. The next few days the sickness just kinda stuck around. Sometimes I’d feel okay, sometimes not. It never really got that bad, but it was enough to have me worried about the race. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise (ha, I can’t even say that with a straight face) because I pretty much did nothing but sit at home those last few days. So, I was able to rest, and being at home made it easier to stay hydrated and to carbo-load. I was drinking over a gallon of water (which may not sound like much, but is 3-4x my norm) and eating 4-5 carb-rich meals a day (somehow I created a new meal in between lunch and dinner).

So it’s Saturday night. The race starts at 6 the following morning, which means I have to set my alarm for 4:15 to get there with ample time. Ugh. Meanwhile, I’m still amazed at how much mucus one human can produce. So I hit the sack at 9pm and of course, it’s a hot day, so I’m fidgeting until probably 10:30pm. And here comes race day. I’ve carbo-loaded, I’ve stayed hydrated and I’ve rested, but how much will this sickness counter-balance those things? It sure seemed like all the energy I was supposed to be storing up was being sucked out of me by the cold, and all the water I was drinking was just coming out onto my Kleenexes! And I couldn’t do my last training run either, but on the other hand, they’d have water stops along the way (which I never had in my training). And I also had my comfy running shoes now. I got to the starting line earlier than I expected at 5:10. I check-in my bag (which will be taken to the finish line), and go for the Port-A-Pottys. I didn’t want to waste any time during the run (and I knew that these last few days, I’d been having to go to the bathroom what seemed like every 5 minutes). So I stretch and wait around for Marc and John M. It’s approaching 6 and still no sign of them. At this point, I need to go to the bathroom again, but the line is huuuge, so I knew I’d have to just go during the race. I finally meet up with John, and the race starts.

It was actually a really nice day (as they all are in Denver, it seems). This early in the morning, it was in the 50s and was supposed to get to the upper 60s by around 8am. All in all, a good temperature for a run. We start in the middle of the pack. It takes us a little bit to actually cross the starting line which is apparently when your timing starts (we had these little chips that we wore around our ankle that recorded when we passed checkpoints). So we’re going pretty slow to start (to warmup and because it was hard to maneuver through the crowd). So I keep up with him for about the first 3 miles before he starts and pulling away. John’s done a full marathon before, so I had no intention of keeping up with him. So now I’m on my own. Two things are on my mind at this point: how’s this bathroom stop going to work, and how am I going to handle the uphill that the race ends with. Let me start with the latter; while I was checking out the course profile that weekend, I noticed that the last 8 miles was a steady climb into Lakewood. I even compared the ascent using Google Earth to hills I’ve climbed in my training runs. Conclusion: this was going to be a rough finish. How in the world am I going to handle that at mile 10? 12?! As for using the bathroom, they had Port-A-Pottys every couple of miles, but I didn’t want to waste a lot of time, and the first few stops had lines (albeit short ones). So, I kept going. At one point, one emptied right before I got there, and for whatever reason I didn’t stop. I could’ve been in and out in 20 seconds. A couple of stops later, I had to stop before it started affecting my running. I had to wait little bit, but it wasn’t bad. I wasted about 90 seconds, I figure. Okay, enough about me and my urination problems.

So they also had water and Gatorade every couple of miles. Unfortunately, I couldn’t quite get a handle on drinking and running. It sounds stupid, but it’s not easy. I actually read an article the other day saying that you should practice grabbing the cup and drinking while running. I got the handoff part just fine, but I just couldn’t drink without slowing down considerably. I think I skipped only one water stop even though I had so much trouble getting it down. I’d end up running with my empty cup until I came across a trash can (which most of the time wasn’t until the next stop). Everyone else either drank theirs really quickly and tossed them into the trash cans shortly after the water stops, or they just threw it on the ground. Even though I knew they had volunteers to cleanup, I just couldn’t litter! So okay, as I’m running, I’m coming up with new goals for this race. I came in with: 1) first and foremost, just finish the 13.109 miles, and 2) don’t walk any of it (i.e. run/jog the whole thing). Above all, I just wanted to finish, but I also figured it wouldn’t be expecting too much to not walk any of it. Next, I decided a 2:15 time would be a modest goal to shoot for … slightly above 10 minute miles. Then, the next goal was a sub-2-hour time, which was more of a dream more than anything. That’s a pace of 9 minute miles, which is not really that fast, but considering my longest run was 10 miles with a pace of 10 minutes, I didn’t really expect to do a full 13 with a pace of 9 … especially with the aforementioned uphill at the end. And lastly, I decided it’d be nice to beat one of my friends, Marc or John … which again, I didn’t really expect. Though Marc hadn’t trained that much for this race, he had done a half before and had ran a lot when he was in school. And as I had mentioned, John M. had run a full marathon before and seemed to run pretty consistently. So in summation, I had:

1. Finish!
2. No walking!
3. Finish in 2:15 or less.
4. Finish in 2:00 or less.
5. Beat Marc or John!

I honestly only hoped to achieve 1 and 2, though. I guess a 6th goal was to not get lapped by a marathoner, but I would’ve had to done pretty poorly (or there had to have been a world-class runner running it) for that to happen. They had these signs at every mile marker showing the time (though it was from when the first person started; i.e. not when I crossed the start line). I didn’t have a watch, but with these signs I was able to quickly approximate my pace, and I saw that I was doing really well, averaging a 9-minute mile pace. And considering these times were a little high, I was feeling good.

So now I’m at mile 7ish, and I’m starting to question whether I’ll be able to run the rest of the way. Either I’m slowing down, or everyone else is speeding up (or both) because I’m getting passed by a lot of people. Around mile 8, Marc shows up! Apparently, he had been in line for the restrooms when the race started, so he started about 3 minutes late. We talk briefly before I tell him to feel free to go on ahead. He’s got his watch and is doing the splits and says he’s been doing 8.5 minute miles. Now, I’m waiting for this climb that I’ve been fearing (I knew it started after I-25), and we were well past that at this point. There had been some small hills, but nothing bad. In fact, I started passing a lot of people around this area. Again, either I sped up or others slowed down or both. The climbs started getting more challenging later, but it was nothing like what I had imagined. Most had flat areas afterwards that served as a respite. And when I thought about slowing down, I just thought about my training and how long I’ve been waiting for this day (though, I’ll be the first to admit that my training was less than impressive … regardless, it kept me motivated). It sounds corny, but the people cheering along the course really helped too. Sometimes, even early in the race, it just brought a smile to my face which was enough to keep me going. The next few miles went by, and I decided if I could get to mile 12 without any trouble, I’d be fine for the last bit.

It was around mile 12 that I started getting a little dizzy. I didn’t really notice it at first, but things were definitely getting hazy (in my head and my vision). With less than a mile to go, I knew there wasn’t any way I could slow down now. Besides, the last time I saw was under 2 hours, so through some miracle, maybe I could finish in under 2 hours! I could start to see the Colorado Mills Mall where the race ended, and the people were cheering us on. They kept saying, “You’re almost there” and “…just one more hill,” etc. Knowing that I was almost done was the only thing that kept me going. After every turn, I was waiting to catch a glimpse of the beautiful finish line. Unfortunately, it was a big tease as we kept on running! Surely that last mile had to be complete by now! Finally, I went around a curve and saw it … a site for sore eyes, although by this time, things had gotten so blurry in my mind, I was just hoping I didn’t fall over. I heard John cheering me on at the finish, and I think I looked at him (although in all honesty, I could’ve been looking at a dog dressed in a pink bunny costume). I willed my way to the finish and somehow mustered a smile for the photographer. That’s probably going to be the weirdest looking smile ever!

So I cross through the finish, and they wrap this mylar cape around me. I didn’t know what it was; the only thing I knew is that I was hot, and I didn’t want anything else on me! I find out later, it’s to keep you warm … yes, to keep you WARM. Apparently, you get really cold after you stop on such a long run. Then volunteers start asking if I was okay, and I said, “Not really” (I’m wondering how obvious it was because I don’t think it was as bad as I make it out to be). I tell them I’m dizzy, and they take me to the medical tent. They lay me down, and give me water and take my vitals. Apparently, I had a 102° fever, so they put some ice bags on me. After my temp drops back close to normal, they let me leave. I guess running a half-marathon while sick wasn’t such a good idea. Afterwards, I decided that putting that much stress on my body was pretty much the worst thing I could’ve done while I was sick.

So by the time I get out of the medical tent, I can’t find Marc or John. I find out later that they were still there, but for not much longer. In any case, I look around for them while going around all the sponsors’ booths. Here are some of the things they gave out: water, Gatorade, Zone Perfect bars, these huuuuge popsicles, bananas, Panera Bread bagels and breads, smoothie drinks, and even massages. I partake in some, and go get my bag. That was interesting. There was this place in the parking lot where they were all just laid out for people to claim with no supervision. This area was open to the public, so it doesn’t take a genius how much of a bad idea that was. After I had my phone, I left messages for John and Marc telling them what happened and asking if they were still there. I ran into Mike, Tim and Lori from my Ultimate team, so I said hi to them, and found out they were doing the relay along with two others. I also ran into Chris from work who was apparently there cheering on his wife who in a relay as well. Later, this one guy in the crowd starts talking to me. Apparently, he and I were running next to each other towards the end, and neither of us were doing well. I didn’t remember seeing him, but he said that when he finished he went for the medical tent, too, and saw that I was already in there. We talked for a bit about how much of a tease the last bit was.

By now, marathoners were starting to finish, so I was trying to figure out when to start looking for John Jost. I knew his longest run had been around 21 miles, but I didn’t know his pace or what his goals were for the marathon. I figured he’d do a slower pace (for him) around 9 minutes, so I started watching for him around the 3:45 mark with my camera at the read. After it got to be 4:10 or so, I figured he had to have finished by now, so I started walking around the booths again. I found him pretty quickly and found out that his goal was 3:30 and that he finished in 3:27! What a machine, man! That’s under 8 minute miles … for 26.2 miles! I knew he was an awesome runner, but geez. Amazing.

To be continued …

Mike Shinoda is a genius. Okay, I just wanted to say that. I’ll elaborate more on that later. Just listen to Fort Minor’s album The Rising Tied, and you’ll see what I mean. I’m sore, and I’m tired. More on that later too.

I’m currently hooked to this song right now … it’s not a new song by any means. It’s “Black” from Pearl Jam’s first album Ten. I’ve liked it for quite some time, but I borrowed the CD from a coworker and have been listening to it at work, and I just like it on a whole new level now. The lyrics are so poetic. Unfortunately, it’s not really a song you can sing or has any lyrics that are resonant. But still, it’s managed to keep me coming back for more for about a week now.

Actually, interesting story about that song. I had heard it on the radio for years and wondered what it was called. But of course, they never say the name of the song on the radio when you want them to. So for years, I wondered … knowing that it was Pearl Jam, I tried downloading their singles to no avail. I remember hearing it in high school, so I knew it had to be pre-1998. Still, I had no luck. Normally, I just memorize a few lines from the song and Google it to find the song, but like I said, this song doesn’t have any resounding lyrics … just this repetitive beautiful, haunting piano/vocal part at the end. But I can’t Google a tune! Then a few years ago, I heard it on the radio in Baton Rouge, and I emailed the DJ and told him the exact time that he played it, hoping that they had some kind of log of what they played. Apparently not. We emailed back and forth a couple of times as he tried to help me figure it out, giving suggestions of possible Pearl Jam songs … none of which was my white whale. Finally, a few weeks later, they played it again, and my friend Dale was with me. We both memorized some random words in the song (“bitter hands” comes to mind), and after a little Googling, I finally found it! I felt kinda silly actually that it turned out to be on Ten which is only considered to be one of the most influential albums of our time (but I had never heard the whole thing until about a week ago)! Anyway, it turns out that “Black” was never really released as a single. I guess it was just one of those songs the radio started playing.

Okay, so another aside … while posting this, I did some research on Wikipedia (as I always do) and “found out” that Pearl Jam used to be called Mookie Blaylock. “Found out” is in quotes because technically I had been told this several times when I was younger by my brother. He is such a good bullshitter that for all these years I refused to believe him because it just sounded like an absurd fabrication that he was persistent about. Why would Pearl Jam be called Mookie Blaylock … an NBA basketball player? Well, for whatever reason, they apparently were. And apparently Ten was named such because that was his number!

So I went to Copper this past Saturday with some friends. I don’t think I would’ve gone boarding at all this weekend (it just feels like ski season is over) except that Better than Ezra was performing there. I’m a fan … not a huge fan, but a fan nonetheless. I’ve seen them in concert once before when they played at Bon Fete in Baton Rouge. Anyway, they have some good stuff. Plus they’re from New Orleans, so that’s a plus. Actually I read that the band was formed when the lead singer was at LSU. In any case, so yea, it was a pretty uneventful day. It started sleeting which kinda hurt when coming down the mountain, so we stopped early and waited for the concert. They started kinda late which was annoying because I wanted to get home in time for the LSU game (yea, yea, so the men and women lost in the Final 4 … still, it was a good run).

So we probably listened to about half their set and headed out. They were pretty entertaining performers, interjecting random comments in their show to keep things interesting. At one point they were talking about after the show, and the lead singer mentioned that the only thing they had to do was to cheer on the LSU Tigers at which point I started cheering of course! The only song of theirs that I wanted to hear that I didn’t get to was “Desperately Wanting”. As we were leaving, we stopped to hear a few more songs, and they mentioned this interesting story about how before their 3rd album, they were playing at Breckenridge at this “Classical Festival.” He described it as “Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Better than Ezra, Brahms” and that someone must’ve goofed in the planning. hehe … so anyway, he said that they had this great song, but couldn’t come up with a good chorus for it. And that night, at Breckenridge, they came up with the chorus. So then they play the song, and it’s “At the Stars” which is probably my favorite song by them! I thought that was really cool.

So we left after that thinking that there would be a lot of traffic. I wish we would’ve stayed because apparently John Martin was there, and he said it was a lot of fun towards the end. Plus traffic was non-existent so we made it back to Denver in no time. And then of course, I watched my Tigers get slaughtered by UCLA.

Other than that, I’m really getting into Ultimate. I had some pretty good plays Sunday, and I’m feeling more confident in what I’m doing. I threw for my first point for the team, so that was exciting. We have a practice tomorrow which should be fun. It’s fun just running around. It really makes me want to play football again! Anyway, once I get some cleats, it’s on!